Nationwide Children's 1/2 Marathon

Today I ran my fifth 1/2 marathon, and my first marathon here in Ohio.  I had mixed emotions about it.  I absolutely did not want to do it.  I was unprepared, and I knew it would be really difficult.  I did it with some girls from work and they have been training pretty consistently, and I was really discouraged.  I had a lot of excuses, most pretty reasonable I felt.  My top 3:  Iva, working full-time, and dental school.  It was so bad that even if I ran 3 miles, which is my baseline, I felt horrible because I knew it was not enough for someone that should have been training to run 13.1 miles.  So, even though I was running what I think is a decent amount normally, I was really down about the whole thing.  And it was hard for me because the girls from work do not have kids, so I was really frustrated about that, which was completely unfair to them!  I realized something yesterday.  I'm not the same person I was when I ran my first 1/2 marathon.  It is quite silly that it took me this long to have this "a-ha" moment!

Yesterday I went to a women's conference that our stake put on.  It was WONDERFUL, and I really felt the spirit.  My favorite workshop was called "Finding Joy in Motherhood" (I know this a tangent from the 1/2 marathon, but I do have a point!).  One topic was accepting the lives we choose.  For the most part, the majority of the women there had chosen to be mothers.  I chose to be married and I chose to be a mother.  Derrick and I chose to have Iva.  One comment was made about "owning" the choices we make.  That hit me hard.  Those were the exact words Derrick told me when I was having a difficult time deciding between continuing to work full-time or dropping my hours.  He said, "Just make a choice, but own it."  This is my life, and I need to own it.  It is completely different than anything I ever imagined it would be, but it is what it is.  While I was running I kept thinking about that.  So what if I'm not in as good of shape as I was five years ago when I did my first race.  I am five years older, have had a baby, and have so many different responsibilities than I did then.  Yeah, I can dwell on the fact that the girls from my work do not have kids so they could train better, but where does that lead me?  It robs them of the joy of their accomplishment, and it makes me a resentful person.  So, this race was a big eye opener for me.  I learned a lot about myself.  And I was able to feel so happy for the people from my work I did it with, even though we did not really do it together.  They ran a lot faster than me!  And I am ok with that!

I love my life.  I have an incredible husband and a beautiful daughter, and they are my everything.  People have asked us if we can even remember our lives before Iva.  I most certainly remember life before her, and yes, it WAS easier.  It was nice to just get up and go and not have to worry about bringing diapers or a snack or getting a sitter.  We had more money to spend on ourselves, my house was cleaner (plus easier to clean!), and I could work whenever I needed to.  But, now that we have her, if someone took her out of the equation that is our family, my heart would break.  She is a part of us; a part of me.  And if that means I run a slow race because, instead of training, I was playing peek-a-boo, or singing "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider," then so be it.  I choose this.  I choose the life I have.  And I will probably run another race, and I will finish.  I will probably do it slow and that will be ok.   Because I choose my daughter.  I choose my husband.  I choose the life I have.  And I will own it and LOVE IT!

There were SO MANY people there!  It was about triple the amount of people at the Ogden marathon. It was insane!  It was also freezing.  6:30 am and about 40 degrees!

(I think it is funny the guy behind me is yawning.  Photo bomb!)

 Derrick dropped me off then went home with Iva.  Him and her met me at the finish line!

It was a pretty run.  Look at the leaves!  And it was all foggy the first 5 miles so it was really pretty with the leaves poking through the fog.  I love Ohio fall!

The one nice thing about going slow in this race, was I had absolutely no expectations.  I wanted to try and finish under 3 hours, but it was not a necessity.  I ran the first three miles without stopping, but then I switched between walking and running.  I tried to do longer stretches of running than walking.  My knees got a little tight around mile 6, and I also got bored.  I got spoiled running the last race with my mom!  We talked during the Ogden 1/2 in May, and it made the time go faster (by the way, Mom, I want you to come do the next Columbus race in May with me!!).  So, I called Derrick and talked to him during one of my walking stretches!  I took 5 bathroom breaks as compared to 1 in my first and second race (Iva killed my bladder).  I also ate a Cliff bar about mile 7 and that helped me push through the second half, which I never did during my earlier races.  My final race time was 2:59:43.  My fastest race time was my second race at 2:19.  So, I actually made pretty good time considering I did not train at all and walked a good stretch.  I am proud of what I accomplished today! 

My super cute cheerleader!  Then we went home and she ate my banana that I got at the finish line!